Anniversary Reaction

The last few weeks have been interesting for me.  

Perhaps it is the fact that winter has been excruciating in Kentucky for those of us who dislike the season making me more 'blue' than usual, or perhaps because I am "midlife", or perhaps it is just normal to react to something incredibly defining-- for whatever reason, I found myself reflecting more than usual about the anniversary of my being diagnosed with cancer.
Each year I 'think' about it but mostly just to say to myself, "its been X years since that time".  Then my mind usually wanders down the path of reassurance and comfort, telling me "well, if its been that long, perhaps it really never will return".
This year was different.  I don't know how long it has been since I let myself replay the whole day but this year, I vividly remembered...the words of Dr. Donaldson, the shock, the fear, the sadness, the smell of the office, the confusion of treatments and drugs I didn't comprehend, the insanity of the industry that thrives on cancer diagnosis, the web of miracles that God pieced together to bring me to the place, the soul searching, the personal growth, the peace that passes understanding, the omnipresence of God, the realization that I am not in control, that my husband, kids, family and friends are most cherished, and on and on.  I even spoke it aloud this year, announcing "10 years ago today was the day of the diagnosis"...I don't think I had ever spoken of the anniversary before and not sure why it was so vivid this year.
My hope is that again on March 1, I will wake with another mental reaction to the 10th anniversary of the news that the staging was miscalculated and there would be no need for chemo to begin on March 2!  I hope I will also continue to contemplate what I could and should do with the extension of health and time I have been blessed to have.

Each year on Feb.13, we celebrate our wedding anniversary, which we have been doing now for 26 years.  The past couple of years, we have opted to celebrate with a winter vacation to somewhere tropical for a week or more.  This year we decided to keep it low key. Well, I decided.  Randy was all for going somewhere warm so that maybe my mood would improve but I insisted that a short break would only make me want more warmth and getting through the rest of winter would be harder.  Neither of us needed to be away for an extended period of time, I reasoned, so we decided to go down to Gatlinburg for a few days.  I psyched myself up saying, "It will be nice to be away together, just the two of us" and that is very true but I was not that excited about Gatlinburg.  It's not warm and I am not a fan of the freaky tourist activities and trinket shops, however, Randy promised to go hiking so I knew I would enjoy that.  I wished for snow so that the pictures I would take would be prettier.  But honestly, I wasn't expecting to be wowed in any sort of way...just warmed by some good snuggling, good food and sightseeing together.
Randy made reservations at a couple of places for dinner, the Melting Pot (which I love) and a place called the Lodge at Buckberry Creek.
On Feb. 12, Gatlinburg was under a winter storm warning with several inches of snow expected.  We left on Thursday, Feb. 13 and drove down that morning.  Around noon, the snow stopped and by the time we arrived in Gatlinburg around 3 p.m., the clouds were breaking and the sun was shining through.  At the same time, we decided to see if we could find the Lodge at Buckberry Creek and determine if the roads were in condition for us to drive up the mountain to its location.  Roads were amazingly good.  Freshly plowed.  When we arrived, we parked and walked onto the veranda.

...this was the breathtaking view.  Suddenly, I had an epiphany.  After all these years and all the times I have been to the Smokies, never has it been this spectacular....could it be that after all these years, never could my marriage be better?  Maybe it has to do with the vantage point.  Maybe even something we've experienced so many times can be experienced differently.  Maybe I should expect to be wowed.  Adding white to the canvas (like we both are) and reflecting the right light (of Goodness) can change the perception completely!
It was awesome!
And....the Lodge at Buckberry Creek was exquisite.  The building, furnishings, ambiance, service, food -- excellent!  One of the best anniversary outings we've had!  Who would have thought?
We can't wait to go back for an entire weekend at the Lodge.

Entry at Lodge at Buckberry Creek

Styled after the Adirondack lodges in upstate New York, artisans have payed close attention to detail.  Birch bark is used for trim, antiques abound including furniture, books, accessories. Massive fireplaces warm the areas.  The food is exceptionally well prepared and the service impeccable.  I can't say enough good things.

We spent much of the daylight hours on Friday and Saturday walking along snow covered trails and driving to snowy mountain vistas.  We shopped some, ate well, and attended the Smoky Mtn. Opry before making the trip back home on Sunday.  

The entire weekend was an unexpected, very pleasant surprise.

Scenes from hiking and sight seeing....

My handsome hubby by the creek....see what I mean about 'a little white on the canvas and the proper light'?

Here's to us...
May there be 26 more years to discover the unexpected from the ordinary and wow ourselves along the way!

So Far in Twenty-Fourteen

 I still think "20" anything sounds strange since I was technically born in another CENTURY!!!  I grew up in a house about 100 yards from a cemetery so I would often walk the solemn paths beneath old oaks and pines.  I remember thinking as I walked by stones with dates marked born 18xx that those people must have been ancient!  Even now, the 1900's seem so long ago to the 20 somethings.  And....the pronunciation of 2014 as "twenty-fourteen" reminds me of a child learning to count and getting the numbers out of order!

  Madison got a new vehicle.  I left off the 2013 blog catch up post with the news that she crashed her Honda Civic.  Of course, she is now at a much different time in her life than when she bought the sporty 2-door civic, so she opted to replace it with a Honda CRV.

  The winter weather has been unseasonably cold and snowy.  Just what those of us who suffer from winter blah need!  We had several snows in January.  The kids only went to school 8 total school days in January!  We have had snow covering the ground for the first 17 days in February.  Will Spring ever come?

  To relieve cabin fever and feed my need for adventure, we recently made a visit to an old-fashioned soda fountain for lunch.  I had read about the place in Kentucky Monthly and it sparked my interest as it is located in Wilmore, a whole 5 minutes from our house!  Just like Duncan Drugs from my childhood, the soda fountain was located inside a pharmacy built in the 1940's.  Many of the antiques inside were original.  Lunch was average.  The girls and Randy had cheeseburgers and fries.  I had chicken salad.  The big winner at the table was Randy's chocolate malt.  Randy worked at a similar establishment in McMinnville, TN when he was in high school.  I have heard countless times about how good the chocolate malts were at that drug store.   He has tried countless times to find a malt that matches the ones of his youth but nothing ever measured up....until now. 

To our family and friends...may the sun shine steadily on all of us very soon and may our paths be decorated with blossoms!  Oh how I long for warmer days and color in my world.